Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
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