you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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