Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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