apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
