Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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