So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Randomize
