there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize