we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
