let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
