Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
