she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
