I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
