I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
