we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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