I want to make a zoo with you.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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