I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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