I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
