You're completely useless in the revolution.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
