one might say we're banned from that church
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
