I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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