if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
