I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
