You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
