from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
