Jerry, you need to find god
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
