Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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