You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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