You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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