But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize