...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
