I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
