I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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