is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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