Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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