the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
