She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
