Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize