I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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