I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
My Higher Power is John Stamos
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
FUCK WHALES
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
