My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
