Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
