Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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