she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
