Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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