I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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