What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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