; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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