Jerry, you need to find god
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
