i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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