It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
