Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
