I'm jealous of your bromance
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
