I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
