i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
