omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
