apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
