Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
