I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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